The Problem Probably Isn't the Problem
If I could change just one thing...
One of the biggest lies we’ve been sold is this:
“If I could just fix this one thing...”
Then everything else would fall into place.
If I could just...
stop procrastinating
get more clients
lose weight
stop people pleasing
become more confident
manage my time better
Then life would finally work.
Except...
Those are usually symptoms.
Not causes.
As a behavior analyst, I’ve spent years looking underneath behavior rather than reacting to it.
As a coach, I’ve discovered that people bring me one problem and leave having solved an entirely different one.
Because underneath almost every struggle lives an invisible rule.
Good girls don’t disappoint people.
Don’t be difficult.
Don’t take up too much space.
Be useful.
Earn your place.
Don’t make mistakes.
Don’t outshine.
Keep everyone happy.
No productivity app fixes those.
No business funnel heals those.
No morning routine rewrites those.
You have to notice the rule before you can choose whether it still deserves a seat at the table.
Kathryn and I explored exactly this on her podcast.
We talked about behavior science, Human Design, why I dislike fear-based marketing, why niching isn’t always the answer, and why so many capable women are exhausted from proving themselves to ghosts that stopped judging them years ago.
It became one of those conversations that wandered exactly where it needed to go.
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve done “all the work” but something still isn’t clicking...
I think you’ll enjoy this one.
🎙️ Listen now!
And if one invisible rule jumps out at you while you’re listening...
Tell me.
Those conversations are my favorite.